Issue 47

UTD Coaching News

Will You Move Forward?

  by Tijen Genco, Cohort 8B

This sounds like a funny thing to say when we live in such a competitive society. It is very likely that having to accomplish something is coded in our DNA and we are acting with that human code in our daily lives. Yet I believe that you will appreciate the dilemma I am about to share with you.

What I am noticing as I complete the UTDallas Coaching program is that one part of us wants to be accomplishing and achieving things at all times, at almost any cost to self. And the other part is so scared of making mistakes and not being perfect, standing in front of the finish line and looking at it with questions like: “Can I cross it?, Would that be alright?, Am I good enough?, What happens if I cross the line?” Sound familiar???

Of course, if you are lucky, you have a lovely support system that tells you can pass; you possess the skills; and you are good enough. Yet you still wonder if  you are worthy of such accomplishments. After a pondering stage, you collect your pieces and many manage to step forward. And others may never cross the line, staying compliant with that inner voice that invalidates you.

Then, you manage to cross the finish line and find freedom from the inner bombardments of how ”not good enough you are”, finally getting convinced by your lovely support system. And the minute you have done that, what happens??? A huge empty space of nothingness comes right back and taps you on your shoulder. Now what? That was nothing. Don’t even look back to see how far you have come and who cares about what kind of line you have just crossed. What are you going to do now to find your self-worth??? Wow!!!

At this point you must be wondering why Tijen is telling us this story. It is because that I have noticed that this became an epidemic. As a coach I have not only observed this within me, but also within my wonderful, exceptional cohort that is trying to cross the line.

And in those moments, when my colleagues doubt themselves, I wish I could show them what I see in them… their grace, their gifts, their exuberance. How wonderful, how worthy they are to pass right through. I wish that I could just help them to celebrate, to enjoy their great accomplishment for themselves and society as they put their gifts to use, rather than staying in self-doubt.

I wish, that we all could, as Deepak Chopra says, unsubscribe from this negative emotional download so that we could put our gifts to use, rather than feeling scared about not being perfect, or good enough..

I truly wish for, not only the Cohort 8B, but all the cohorts to come that you pass the line with grace and take the time to celebrate. And that I could be there to celebrate with all of you

With my love, blessings and gratitude to you all…


Tijen Genco

Tijen Genco has a degree in Electronics Engineering and a strong background in information technology.  She began her career in Turkey, working 10 years in research and development.  In her current position as Master Black Belt/Program Manager, Tijen coaches individuals and project teams.  She also provides coaching and workshops to private audiences in the areas of self-development and mind-body modalities.


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